Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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