I want to stick my p in your. b.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
4 words: hood of his car
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
