She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
