Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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