Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
