But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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