she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need water and some morals
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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