Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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