If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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