Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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