i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
