capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My ass is underappreciated
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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