Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
