I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
