I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
