i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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