Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
