I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we made out on top of his cat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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