the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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