Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You pole danced in your parka.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
