I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
