like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
