I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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