Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drake has all the answers
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
