More tranny stories later!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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