like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
