Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
