Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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