New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
