; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
