Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
