I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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