There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize