i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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