I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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