you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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