Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
