her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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