Screwed.edu
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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