Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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