may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
