your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
