the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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