ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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