Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
