She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
