He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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