If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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