My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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