I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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