hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my being single is dangerous.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
