if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
