now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
