I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
