Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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