WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
